16?

Today my Baby turned 16 years old.

Can it truly be so?

He grew into a fine young man who is intelligent and entertaining.
Who is fun and frustrating.

Who is more than I could have dreamed he would be and who sends fear down my spine through fear of lost possibilities in life.

I love him with so much of my being.

(Isn't it absolutely astounding how much a mother can love each of her children and still have plenty for them all to share.)

Sixteen years ago to this day I lay in intensive care unit having not yet properly seen the baby that I had longed for for many many many years.

My family had been through a day of hell yet I was still largely oblivious to what had occurred that day.

Many weeks later I wrote about it. For myself really. To be able to recall what had happened later. To pass on to any daughters I may have - the warning of possible threat to their lives due to HELLP syndrome.

I will not recall the whole piece but here are exerts from my story ...

"I had been feeling unwell and vomiting for a couple of days. I had never had indigestion before ... this is what I put it down to and bought myself some antacid. A couple of day later I took myself off to a nearby casualty department at 2am.

We sent the casualty department into a whirl. Before I was even looked at by a doctor it was assumed I was in labour.

I was sent by ambulance to the hospital where I was booked in to deliver my baby.

'There' a surgeon was called in who suggested I may have gall stones. None were found during a liver ultrasound. Blood tests were taken.

The next afternoon my obstetrician rang to tell me I had a condition called H.E.L.L.P syndrome (Haemolysis, Elevated Liver Enzymes and Low Platelets Syndrome).

It is a variant of pre-eclampsia which is often confused with a gastro intestinal or liver disorder because it's symptoms may come before any symptoms of pre-eclampsia.

The only treatment for HELLP Syndrome is delivery of the baby, regardless of the fetus's gestational age." (I was lucky Jake was 37 weeks!)

I was sent by ambulance to the Royal Womens Hospital.

"The moment I entered I had people all around me.

Bloods being taken, and intravenous drip, a catheter inserted and a magnesium sulphate infusion (which was to minimise the possibility of seizures). I gave permission for extra blood to be taken for research. "

"I was not allowed visitors and my room was to be kept quiet and the lights dimmed to also help prevent seizures."

HELLP Syndrome occurs in one per 150 live births and carries a maternal mortality of 3.5% (according to Louis Weinstein, MD- Nov 1985). The most common cause of maternal death is liver rupture. It was my liver causing me the pain.

"As the name suggests, I had a low platelet count. Platelets are the 'sticky part' of your blood which causes it to clot and stop bleeding.

My platelet count was so low that I could have spontaneously bled to death at any time.

My family was told that my condition was critical.

Because of the effects of the mag sulphate I was aware of what was going on around me but it was as though i wasn't absorbing any of it.

At 5:25 pm our healthy baby boy was born weighing 7lb, 7oz."

One and a half hours later I was wheeled to his side and he opened his eyes for the first time.

I was in that room for another 2 days before I went to a ward.

It was only then that I saw my baby properly.

"he was more beautiful than I imagined he could have been."

I was disappointed that things didn't go to plan and I didn't have a 'normal' birth.

"However, that operation saved the lives of both myself and my little boy just in the nick of time so I could not be more grateful for modern technology and the doctors and nurses who we could never thank enough".

Jake's 1st photo