thankful (kym)

8Sometimes finding the perspective of a situation that can make you thankful is more difficult than others.

My youngest two children have a connection? fascination? interest? (I'm not quiet sure what it is exactly) with death and those people who have passed.

My Grandfather died in May 1999 and my uncle soon after. Loc & YaYa have always talked of Gramps & Peter as if they have known them and they are still connected to them in some way. But they didn't know them.

The image above is what my kids call "heaven" (when the sun shines through the clouds in rays like that). "Come quick! I can see heaven".

Their Nan used to say that when she was a child and it has 'stuck' with mine now.

When they see a sky like this it brings up the questions.

The questions I can't answer.

I don't know the answers.

I only know what I feel. And that can change.

Sometimes I wonder - if there is a God then why do the terrible, horrific things happen? Like the horrible things that have been on the news this week. Why???

Tonight (most likely) an amazing mother, grandmother, wife & friend will make that journey. I don't understand why and it makes me sad. so so sad. and also angry.

Why?

She is needed here. We want her here. Her children & husband sit with her during one of the most horrible moments of their lives. And we cannot take away their pain. We can only share it.

If there is a God then why doesn't he take those that are serving no good purpose on this earth? Why can't he take the monsters like that that can take an 8 year old girl from her bedroom in the night?

Why?

We want her here.

I do believe that the people we love who have passed on will be there when we get to heaven. And I also believe that they watch over us and help show us the way.

And it helps.

I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for them.